Susan Jennifer Polese

I am currently involved in an interesting conversation thread as part of an American Counseling Association group on LinkedIn. First off, I highly recommend that counselors get on LinkedIn and create a profile. It is a great way to network and be part of a counseling community. Once on there, take a moment to join the ACA discussion group – it is there that you can communicate with other professionals and expand your knowledge. Discussion thread messages may be directly emailed to you – in case your want to be in the know. And in the know, I am!

Having just finished a very long, grueling text book chapter exploring anxiety disorders my interest in existential counseling has once again been piqued. I’ve been interested in existentialism for years having studied the philosophy of Kierkegaard and the prose of Camus.

I have a personal relationship with depression. The depressive periods in my life are highly situational in so much as in the past they occurred after my divorce and most recently since the death of my mother. However, I am no stranger to the effects that chronic depression can have on a person and the people in their lives. I am certain that along with having difficulties with anxiety, my mother suffered from depression – never really addressed clinically or in any other way. The man I married when I was in my twenties was most certainly depressed – like so many others I recreated in my adult life what was familiar to me as a child. He, also, do this day has never addressed his depression – or chronic basic unhappiness. I have been affected by depression and so I am interested in what this condition is and ways to combat it - and in another sense, ways to accept it and actively deal with it.

As I begin personal therapy at my graduate school student counseling center I realize that I am analyzing everything the therapist is saying. What is her theoretical orientation? Was that an open or closed question? Will we be goal setting? How much money does she make? Yes, I was more than a little “in my head” during that first session.

I admit it, I’m green. I’d like to think I possess good intuition and that a firm foundation for my counseling future is being laid in graduate school. But I feel very confused about which populations I want to ultimately work with. I alternate between an unrealistic wanting to work with virtually everyone and a steady yearning to find a more comfortable niche. My comfort zone is cradling me as I urge to break free.