Summer Jeirles 

Many people use the terms “enabling” and “codependency” interchangeably…when in reality, enabling is just one example of codependent behavior within a relationship (Lancer, 2015). There are many others however, including (but not limited to): people pleasing, perfectionism, controlling, caretaking (another form of controlling), “needing” another person, giving when it is to your detriment, along with others (Lancer, 2015).

Particularly with addictions, the concept of enabling gets some serious negative press. While most people are aware that “enabling is bad” per se; why does it still continue? In working with families of those that have addictions issues, one of the explanations that continued to show up, was denial—fueled by a misunderstanding of the disease of addiction.

When working with a psychiatrist to potentially refer addicted clients (or any other clients) to, you have to know what their philosophy on prescribing addictive medications is. I have had the misfortunate of working with psychiatrists that are not versed in addictions (or don’t care).

When someone uses the words “enabler” or “enable,” typically people assume that someone is speaking about a component of a relationship that involves an alcoholic or other drug addict. Truthfully, enabling can be a component of any relationship—whether or not an addiction is involved.

For those familiar with the 12 steps of AA and other 12 step programs, it is impossible to miss the glaring spirituality in those steps. The concept of finding a higher power, communicating with the higher power, handing your worries to the higher power, and praying to the higher power to help you become a better person—are all mentioned and addressed in the 12 steps.