Kim Beck

My one client we will call Lily has been coming to me for 6 weeks. She presented with severe panic and anxiety issues related to her ex-husband trying to get custody of her children, however he is a drug addict. He stole the children’s Christmas presents to pay for drugs, drained Lily’s savings account and all of this underneath her. She says looking back on it she sees it but at the time she didn’t realize all he was doing. She now suffers from Panic Disorder with agoraphobia and severe depression. We talked about her issues and how he is still harassing her through phone texts and social networking sites. As a matter of fact she is my next client coming in today.

I have two clients both are substance abusers, One client is 11 days clean from alcohol and cocaine, he's also done many other pills.  The other is hooked on heroin and Roxy's.  Both are in treatment with me.  As of today both are clean, but they are as different as can be.  The one hooked on heroin and Roxy's we'll call her Lily, she is 23 and now in a residential treatment program for substance abuse for 1 month.  The other one we'll call Mike, he is 33 and is doing IOP individually with me.  Lily was forced into treatment by her family threatening to stop her from seeing her 2 year old daughter.  She already lost custody of her because of drugs. Her probation officer said it is either treatment or jail.  She is not invested in her treatment, she is manipulative and doing what she has to do to get out as soon as possible.  Mike sees me 3 times a week and attends AA once a week, he is working hard and doing it for him he wants to show himself he can do this, he has a strong will to "beat this" but has almost an arrogant overly confident strong will, which is not necessarily a bad thing, however, he admits he keeps having urges to drink.

I got a text this morning that one of my ex-clients committed suicide. I no longer work at the facility where she was at, she was just a young teenager with a very big story on her shoulders. When I read the text I wondered, if I had still been there (she was in a residential facility) would she have done it? Could I have helped her want to live? There are so many thoughts going through my mind. What brings a teenager to the point where they want to die. She hung herself. I feel so bad about her loss. I remember her as a very attention seeking, loveable girl. She ALWAYS wanted a session. Daily she would say "Miss Kim can I have a quick session Please!!!" I saw her a lot, she covered her pain and sadness with attention seeking behaviors.

I just saw a commercial about a little girl who sheds her skin daily and it reminded me of a client I used to have when I worked at partial hospitalization for a child/adolescent psychiatric unit. The little girl had her skin EVERYWHERE, on the chairs, on the fooseball table, in the kitchen, someone would just say "gross" and shun her. This was her issue in school, she was 8 years old and got teased and shunned from classmates. She had to put oily cream all over her every half hour, and yes I can even say it was gross and noone wanted to be around her or sit in a chair she sat in. But this little girl was so sweet and so tormented by her issues. We as counselors had to really check our feelings constantly.

I was sitting here and remembering a couple of my clients early in my career, young children diagnosed with ADHD by the psychiatrist. They had all the classic symptoms, restlessness, inattention, one child was bouncing off the walls and climbing under chairs, would not sit still or pay attention. I called him over, he was 6 years old and I had him come sit on my lap and to my amazement, he was completely still. He was able to participate throughout the rest of group without any problems. This child had witnessed severe abuse and been a victim of abuse.