Julie North

I have been counseling for ten years and I have learned a thing or two in those ten years. I have learned to meet families, children and couples where they are. I have learned you can’t rush progress and probably the biggest gem is people only change when they are ready. I work with families who are in crisis constantly. A majority of my cases revolve around abuse and neglect issues. These families are dealing with long, long standing issues that likely date back to their parents and grandparents. Issues such as poverty, physical, sexual and emotional abuse, lack of transportation, substance abuse issues, incest and the list goes on.

The holidays are over and I survived family, cookies and Santa Claus. My clients according to them did well and managed to “get through” their difficult times. It’s a New Year full of possibilities. I might possibly lose weight, I might possibly exercise more or I might stop eating dessert. Which reminds me of the birthday card I bought my mother that had a picture of a group of woman having fun and it read-“Let loose-remember all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert.” I thought I would die with laughter. She really appreciated it.

My husband and I will be married sixteen years in a few days. We spent five years dating and that’s because we met in college. So altogether that is twenty-one years of togetherness. When I think back to all of the things we did while broke and in college its no wonder we know each other so well. We took walks, bike rides, went to parties together, did homework together, watched TV, ate tons of pizza and TALKED. We talked and walked, we talked and rode bikes we even talked while eating. Talking and mostly dreaming is what we did.

Sometimes I don’t think much about my personal safety. I mean I feel pretty safe everyday. I probably live like most people cautious but overall safety matters don’t dawn on me. In the last few months I have had to deal with a client who is beginning to invade my personal comfort and safety zone. In Brief the client is seeing me about DV issues and I have figured out there are boundary issues with women. That should be apparent but sometimes things take a while to sink in. I think our nature (at least mine) as counselors is to feel we can help anyone. But every time the client left the building I felt more uneasy knowing I would have to see him again.

As I sit here at my computer just wrung out from a day working with clients I am thankful it is almost Thanksgiving and I can have two days off to be with my family uninterrupted. I have counseled many clients this week who have become greatly conflicted about the holidays and why shouldn’t we be?