Doc Warren

Well, now that I have all the English majors grabbing their ears after having read the title of this blog which is taken from an old song, let’s see where this is headed, shall we? I write this as I review several discarded attempts at blog writing. In the old days my floor would be littered with crumpled up paper and perhaps a good amount of “flop sweat” that is the result of continued failure. Today we are able to save a few trees, and with the advent of air conditioning, flop sweat has been greatly reduced.

It has been said the “we are who we are” and though we can to a great extent improve, expand and otherwise change things about us, we are in the end, who we are. Some of us love the bright lights and big cities, excessive travels to distant exotic locals while others like me, feel like world travelers when we visit Cape Cod (one state away from me). There is nothing wrong with either. Change can and is often a good thing but at times it is not necessarily better. I liked the advances we have made in medicine during my lifetime; actually I and many others would likely not be here now if not for the gains. I like that they can watch my heart beat live on the tv monitor and verify that while the scan in the ER picked up an abnormality the monitor shows that I am simply one of the 2-5% of the population that has a valve or chamber that is different than the norm but that my heart is working perfectly otherwise; years ago I have no idea what they would have had to do to determine this, but it would have entailed far more than some gel and a white hand held device.

I have discussed in recent blogs the ongoing health issues that I have been battling; no, don’t worry, this is not going to be a “poor me” piece nor a rehash; instead I wanted to share an experience and how it helped remind me about our client’s needs. “Ok, this one I want you to take…” “That one take two times a day…” “This one stop when the symptoms improve… this one take until…” The well meaning MD continued to give detailed and quick directions to me as my head was spinning from illness and my main though was “please lord don’t let me pass out and fall off this table onto the floor.” Thankfully my prayer was answered as were most of them during that period but unfortunately most of what the MD said sounded much like the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons.

A few years ago my phone rang and there was a gentleman looking for services for himself and significant other. He discussed his reasons for needing therapy: an abusive relationship, addiction, financial issues; the “typical” relationship ills that often leads to therapy but I sensed there was something more. He said “um… I’m gay and my significant other is a man… is that a problem?” I replied honestly “Is it a problem for you?” he responded that it was not, he was gay, had been gay his entire life but that he had been denied treatment at three different offices for family counseling because of his “lifestyle.” I informed him that I would have no issue working with him so long as our schedules could find a time in common, and for the life of me could not understand why anyone would turn down a person who was seeking assistance based on their sexuality.

We have all learned the concept of behavioral therapy that humans are bothered not by things but by their perceptions of them. Even if we are not behaviorally based therapists, we were taught this in our counseling introduction courses. Some of us made it our carrier while others found schools that were more congruent to their lives and personal style. There is no “one” school that holds all the answers. This blog however will focus on one event and the very different perceptions held by two individuals. I hope you find it as fascinating as I did.