Diana Pitaru

Some of you may know that I am a fairly new immigrant to this country. I picked up English when I was quite young and although my English classes taught me well –in the sense that I was able to speak it with some fluency- it was not until I moved to the US that I started going through some stages I was unaware even existed. I came to this realization when one of my professors was doing a mock counseling exercise with another immigrant classmate. The “client” seemed unresponsive to some of those well known counseling skills but when our teacher asked her to share her feelings regarding a certain situation in her own language, things rapidly shifted. I must say that I did not speak nor understand her language but in spite of this drawback, I was able to feel her emotions, her love.

I had the strangest email encounter the other day; in an attempt to find a therapist for my husband, I have emailed several counselors in my area. Some got back, others didn’t. Some were open to answer my questions regarding their theoretical orientation and view of therapy, while others seemed offended that I asked for such information. Still, one person seemed genuinely open and willing to help; she answered my questions and encouraged me to ask more…so I did. I disclosed to her that I am a counselor in training and that some of my questions are fueled by past experiences with other therapists, theories that didn’t work, etc. Little did I know that my disclosure was about to bring forth a very interesting email, filled with questions of my intentions for the future, brief negative experiences on her part, and finally the disclosure that “nobody told me that I will be the emotional trashcan of others”.

Seven years ago, The ACA started a wonderful project “Day of Giving” with only 32 volunteers. This year, the “Day of Giving” 2011n attracted more than 600 participants thanks to a wonderful ACA president, staff, and members. I had the honor to be part of ACA’s “Day of Giving”, Operation Nehemiah. One hundred and sixty ACA members/volunteers woke up at 5 am to participate in this amazing project that does not even have a budget! We spent several hours in the hot sun of New Orleans, cleaning the debris in the Holt cemetery that houses –amongst others- the long gone, Buffalo Soldiers. It was a breathtaking and inspiring experience, one that I will take with me and pass along in my community.

It’s pretty challenging to get your point across when English is your second language. I remember when I moved to the states a few years ago and was placed in a situation that reminded me of a Romanian saying…I translated it in my head and laughing, said it out loud to my friends in English; I got a blank stare and silence in return. I felt awkward at the time because I thought it was funny…they thought it made no sense. It took me a while to realize that the nuances of my native tongue can’t really be translated in English just as the nuances of the English language can’t be translated into a different language. It was trial and error, I must say, but it in the end, it all made sense.

I can see how Christmas -and the holidays in general- can overwhelm us and make us focus entirely on our families and friends. I can see how some celebrate Christmas from a religious perspective, while others celebrate it as a family secular tradition where they have the chance to be with their loved ones, share gifts, and just enjoy the day. There is, though, a third category. Not too many speak of them maybe because they are too busy to notice or maybe because they are unaware. Well, this blog is for you… for all of you who choose not to celebrate the winter holidays because of lack of belief, resistance to how commercial winter holidays have become, or maybe because your family and friends are too far away…I am one of you, thinking of you.