Courtnay Veazey

My journey toward receiving a Master of Science in Counselor Education is one step closer toward completion. I learned and accomplished a lot this semester. I gained over 100 hours of professional experience during my practicum, and the four clients that I counseled taught me more than I taught them. While reviewing my taped sessions, I quickly noticed how the counseling room’s atmosphere drastically changed depending on which client was before me. People’s emotions are palpable and powerful, and they create movement that affects relational dynamics like a cast stone creates ripples in a lake. Emotions contain energy that I quickly absorb, and I had to learn how to embrace that energy without losing the neutrality that is needed to be an effective counselor.

Sometimes I don't like to reveal what I'm studying in graduate school because I receive some off-putting responses from people when I share that I'm studying to become a mental health counselor. Looks of confusion and/or blank stares. Questions about my personal sanity (after all, only crazy people enter the psychology field). A short moment of silence then a change of topic to something more comfortable (like the weather).

Self-doubt is an ugly emotion. I called my husband last week feeling completely disheartened and wondering about my abilities as a counselor-in-training. I am completing my practicum this semester, and it's my first time to really counsel clients. My current case load is four clients – all of whom possess fascinating and challenging stories. I desire to help them. To be perfectly honest, I desire to fix them. Wait a minute. I can't fix anybody. That is not my job. Yet, self-doubt tells me that it is. Self-doubt tells me a lot of things. "You should be a better counselor". "You need a stronger connection with that client". "You are not making a difference at all". "You should have said this instead of that". "Your client should be better by now". "You can't do anything in six sessions".

As a counselor-in-training and client, I have thought a lot about my personal story and professional purpose. The generic response a lot of people give when asked why they chose this profession is, I want to help people. Thats great, but there is so much more to our profession. There is a much deeper purpose that runs through our veins and unites us. The more I grow in this field, the more I fall in love with Jung's concept of the shadow side and the contradictory, yet healing, nature of the light versus the dark. I am therefore more aware of recognizing this archetype.

The state of Mississippi is currently facing a severe budget crisis, and sadly, the first area that the state's government has chosen to cut is mental health. As a result, several mental health facilities are closing or downsizing. Politicians hope that community-based care will successfully replace the closed or downsized facilities. But, will it?