Plenty of people have heard the word “workaholic” before—and many people primarily associate workaholism with one who “works a lot” (Killinger, 2011). In fact, workaholism refers to having an inner compulsion to work, with both work, and work-related issues taking priority over a social life or family time (Killinger, 2011). It often involves a lack of boundaries resulting in a lack of balance, with work taking precedence (Killinger, 2011).
So what makes a person a workaholic? This is where codependency rears its ugly head. In prior blog postings, we had discussed the fact that people-pleasing is a symptom and component of codependency (Lancer, 2015). People who are the people-pleasing type of codependent, base their sense of worth and their sense of self around what others think about them (Lancer, 2015). If someone came from a family where “doing” was valued more than “being,” or where a healthy sense of self was not nurtured, those people-pleasing dynamics may transfer from one’s original “pack” (if we think about people as pack animals) in their family of origin, to their new “pack” in the work setting (Killinger, 2011). In the work “pack,” a person’s “doing” can result in promotions, increased salary, and tangible things that can reinforce the person’s need to do in order to “be a good person,” or “be successful.” (Killinger, 2011). This reinforces the compulsion to work, in order to continue to please the boss and coworkers, in order to continue to get the promotions and increased salaries—because if those rewards continue to show up, the person feels a (false) sense of self- worth (Killinger, 2011).
References:
Killinger, B., PhD. (2011, December 15). Understanding the Dynamics of Workaholism: “Are you a Workaholic?” [Web Log post]. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-workaholics/201112/understanding-the-dynamics-workaholism
Lancer, D. (2015). Codependency for Dummies (2nd ed.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley Publishing, Inc.
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Summer Jeirles is a counselor with a background in residential addictions treatment. She currently practices in Virginia, with adults 55 and over.