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Letters
Stop blaming technology
I am beside myself and compelled to share my thoughts about an article in
the January 2015 issue of Counseling Today titled “Confronting loneliness
in an age of constant connection.” The summary for this article states in part: “The Internet, cell phones, smartphones and social media have made it nearly impossible to unplug and disconnect ...” What an absurd statement!
When are we going to stop blaming other people or other things, other external variables such as technology,
for our decisions as adults? When are we going to stop blaming technology for “infringing” on our available time? When are we going to stop the madness and accept responsibility for our own actions?
We don’t have to abuse the Internet, just like we don’t have to abuse alcohol or heroin. We don’t have to abuse the use
of smartphones or the time we spend on social media. These are choices that we as adults make every day. But it is easier to blame other things outside of ourselves for our choices. How hypocritical and absurd have we become? On one hand, we tell our clients they have choices and we encourage them to make better ones, and then we turn around and find a scapegoat for our choices.
Despite the article’s claims that “online activity is partially crowding out other leisure activities,” the truth is that people who engage in constantly connecting through Facebook and social media are people who are most likely interested in superficial connection because they don’t know how to have intimacy or are afraid of it.
Intimacy is not just for lovers; intimacy is about self-disclosure in any relationship, whether it is with a lover, a
parent, a child or a friend. Laurie Meyers, the article’s author, would benefit from reading The Seven Levels of Intimacy
by Matthew Kelly. People are lonely,
but they are not lonely because of the available technology. They are lonely because they may not know how to be intimate or may be afraid of rejection or may be trying to connect with those who are only interested in Facebook or social media.
I am not surprised by this article because it is very typical of the Western mindset. This is a society focused on blaming others or things outside of ourselves for our poor choices. Heaven forbid that we should be accountable for our own choices. I expect no less. Martha Nodar Martha.A.Nodar@live.mercer.edu u
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8 | ct.counseling.org | February 2015